the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Randomize
