oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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