i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
You took a bar mat shot.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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