The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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