Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
