bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
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