you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
