So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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