just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
My feet surprised me
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
