dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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