fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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