If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
