Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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