i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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