Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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