Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
