Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
