did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
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I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.