Sponge bath it is.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar