Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
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currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
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I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?