You smell like a Billy Joel song
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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