420 ftw
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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