Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
