And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
