please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
