i may or may not be watching the land before time
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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