You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
