it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
