i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
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