She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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