this beer tastes like vomit already
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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