I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
