some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Boobs are out for the taking
I have feelings that need drinking.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
