They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Randomize
