sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
