I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
