it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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