At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Just invented taco cereal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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