I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
