Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
