im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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