I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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