Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Randomize
