so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
