That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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