I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
