Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
In other news, I just burned my penis
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
