but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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