don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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