Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize
