pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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