I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
