Grow some girl-balls and come out already
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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