doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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