Why are handjobs necessary in class?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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