I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
