a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
