I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
this just has baby written all over it
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize
