I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
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