Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
You are the jesus of drinking
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
