if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize