Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
